crazy cubemate

I heard my cubemate say to his wife on the phone, "I was looking at those things you can make dough with." I'm not sure how she replied, but she definitely didn't understand what he meant because he was trying to describe it a different way.

"A mixer.", I say.

"Oh yeah a mixer.", he says. "Thanks"

His conversation continues and I hear him say, "... those good ones. Kitchen Aid, right."

The scary thing is that I knew he was talking about Kitchen Aid when I said mixer, I've known him for two years and she has lived with the guy for 20 or more. Shouldn't she understand him a little better than me?

blahger

I just lost a damn fine post. Blah. Hehe, wouldn't it be great if there was a rival blog site called blahger.com?

Oh, I lied my post did show up. I still think it would be funny if there was a blahger.com.

Subway Soap Star

I used to work at Subway and I just don't understand these kids that work there these days. When I worked there I would regularly make three or four sandwiches at the same time if they were all going to be on the same order. The thing I hated the most is when a person would order one sandwich and wait until I had wrapped it up and taken off my gloves before they said, "Oh, I have another one." Especially if there was a line waiting. Putting those gloves on is one of those inverse proportion laws. The more people waiting the longer it takes to get them on.

Today I went to Subway for lunch with a couple of my friends. Since I had left my wallet at home today (which I did find on my floor, but not as quickly as I expected. I guess I should probably clean or something.) one of my buddies was covering me for lunch. Of course I tried to help the guy out by saying, "We're going to be together if that makes a difference to you." Apparently it didn't make any difference to him because he made my sandwich, wrapped it up, took off his gloves and was waiting for me near the register until I said, "The two of us are paying together."

Now I would assume that he just didn't hear me tell him the first time but... Right after I said that one of my pals made a snide comment about us "being together" so I jokingly replied, "Oh, not that we're together...". The Sandwich Artist (if that's what they're still called) said, "Hey that's your thing. It doesn't matter to me."

I love to give people options for why they may have done something, so here they are:

1. He took my statement of "Oh, not that we're together..." as a recant to my original statement and thought I was one of those screwed up customers that can't make up their mind. With those people you just ignore everything they say until they announce "Foot long turkey on wheat bread."

2. He believed I was making a statement about the state of my relationship with my friend and I was asking for his approval. "I don't care. I'll still make you a sandwich."

3. He's a dope.

The girl there is so much more efficient. And she's much nicer to look at. Of course I've never seen her handle four... never mind.

Sonic Assault

Today on my way to work I threw in a Sepultura CD. Apparently I cranked it way up on the drive in and turned the car off during a very heavy part of the song because the sonic assault that hit me when I turned the car on actually made me jump. If anyone had been standing next to my car watching me they surely would have been laughing their ass off.

Humility

For some reason I decided I need to feel my ass as I was walking into the office today and discovered that my wallet was not in my back pocket. It's actually kind of nice not sitting on it all day, but now I don't have any means of purchasing food and I'm hungry. I guess I'll have to do some begging so I can get lunch.

Will work for beer

A friend of my cousin's husband is trying to get connected to Xbox Live. I told him what he needed to get but he keeps running into problems and he has no experience with this type of thing. He finally asked me if I would go over his house and set it up for him for $50 because the cable company told him it would cost about $300 for them to do it. I said, "No man, I work for beer. Hook me up with a six pack and I'll take care of it for you." I've never seen someone so excited to buy a six pack in my life.

Gerbera Sunset

I finished the Gerbera series. You can see the results here

There's nothing like...

the smell of burning CDs in the early afternoon.

Daisy-framed cont.

I picked up some more daisies today. I wish I had been able to get more of the orange ones, but they only had red or white. I'm still trying to decide which of these I like better. I didn't really expect to have a shot of the red ones that was so much like the shot of the orange ones. Maybe I'll get some yellow ones and make it a series.

Google Search Star

Google Search: pizza crust

How about that. My buddy just told me that he saw my name when he was looking for pizza crust. Sure enough I'm in the description of the third hit for pizza crust on Google. My Google Star has risen just like my pizza dough.

So much for being Mr. Jones.

Oddly Enough News | Fake Explosives Lost

Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com: "PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Security screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport lost a bag containing fake explosives used to test the airport's bomb-detection system, federal officials said on Wednesday.

The bag was mistakenly loaded on a Continental Airlines flight to Amsterdam, where it was retrieved on arrival, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration said. The airport near New York City was one of three used by the Sept. 11 hijackers."

Rene had posted about some french cops that lost some explosives a couple of weeks ago. Now I find out that we're almost as bad. Unlike the french though, we didn't use real plastic explosives AND we were able to retrieve the bag.

Rock on

I actually got off my ass tonight and went to the rock gym with my brother. In the beginning of the year we went there few times and were thinking this would be our new thing. Between overworking ourselves and being short on money we ended basically forgetting all about that idea. Well, my brother got a gift certificate to EMS (because my cousin saw the super long line at the bookstore and this store was right next to it) and immediately thought "climbing gear".

So now we have a plan, and tonight we actually put the first part of it into place. We've pre-paid for our next four visits, which means no getting out of it because of a funds shortage. Perhaps more importantly we didn't kill ourselves tonight. We had a good time and I'm looking forward to our next visit. And that, my friends, is the key to me getting off my ass with any regularity.

The Laugh Police

So the manager I'm now calling the Laugh Police came by my desk today. The conversation went something like this:

Laugh Police: Mr. Jones*, are you busy?
Jay: Let's see, right now...
Laugh Police: You're not doing anything. I left a message with Cool Boss about this client but I haven't heard back from her. Would you be able to set up their upgrade?

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm usually not rude to people by cutting them off when I'm asking them to do something for me. It wouldn't have been wrong of me to inform him that he'd have to wait to hear back from Cool Boss, but the client would have paid for my petty revenge and that wouldn't be right.

Why did he have to be rude? I've come up with two possible reasons:

1. He's got a bit of a god complex and feels that his higher purpose outweighs the rules of order and decorum.

2. It chaps his ass that he has to go through me one way or another to have these things to get done.

I'm going to console myself by believing in option number 2.

*Jones is a good, generic last name, right?

Daisy-framed?

Over the weekend I bought these gerbera daisies with the intention of taking a picture of them that I could give to a friend as a present. Unfortunately I never quite made it outside to take some pictures in sunlight and now the daisies are too droopy. The only flowers I usually keep around are origami, so it's kind of odd to see petals start to wilt.

Below are the two shots I like the best. My room makes a pretty poor background so the original background was replaced on one of them to spare your eyes. Pretty flowers brighten up a room and all, but they don't do miracles.

Now I have to ask for your help. Is either of these shots "wall-hanging" quality? If yes which one? I can always get more flowers, so don't be afraid to say, "Sorry Jack, these are whack."

Speaking of "wall-hanging" quality photos, I received my print from Bryan on Friday. It looks great. I took it to get framed and the lady there was remarking at how nice it was. There was a big discount on the mounting, matting and framing if I dropped it off and picked it up in January, so I have to live without it being around for a couple of weeks. Thanks Bryan.

Shhh! No laughing allowed

Apparently I'm too boisterous at work for one of the manager's taste. I was warned by a co-worker that he had made comments about me when he had a meeting for his department. Of course he's not my manager so it's not as if I'm in trouble. I guess this is what happens when you pack people from four different departments into one area of the office. Departmental personalities don't always quite jive. I guess I'll think about avoiding "laughing all the time." Nah

Judge taken off criminal court

This story was sent to you by: Jay

Here's what happened to the judge that screwed up.

--------------------
Judge taken off criminal court
--------------------

By Robert Perez
Sentinel Staff Writer

December 6, 2004, 3:26 PM EST

SANFORD -- Seminole County Court Judge John R. Sloop was taken off criminal court today, three days after he ordered 11 people jailed for arriving late for their traffic court hearings.

All 11 had been directed to the wrong courtroom and were about two hours late for their hearings, but Sloop refused to hear their cases and had them arrested.

Records show seven people were jailed Thursday by Sloop under similar circumstances.

The order moving Sloop to the county civil court, issued by James E. C. Perry, chief judge of the 18th Judicial Circuit, goes into effect immediately and until further notice.

Eleven people jailed Friday spent eight hours or more at the Seminole County Jail before being released without being required to post bail. Sloop reversed his decision to have them jailed, although it is unclear why he had a change of heart. Attempts to reach Sloop have been unsuccessful. Perry also ordered the 11 released Friday.

The seven people jailed Thursday were not so lucky. While some were able to post bond that same day, others spent as many as three days in jail before posting bond.

Copyright (c) 2004, Orlando Sentinel | Get home delivery - up to 50% off

Visit OrlandoSentinel.com

Courtroom mix-up puts 11 in jail

This story was sent to you by: Jay

Here's the full story about those people that were jailed for being directed to the wrong courtroom.

--------------------
Courtroom mix-up puts 11 in jail
--------------------

They were misdirected, but a Seminole judge locks them up.

By Robert Perez
Sentinel Staff Writer

December 4, 2004

SANFORD -- After being directed to Courtroom 1B, the six men and five women waited Friday for a judge to hear their cases. And they waited and waited, but their names were never called.

Meanwhile, in an adjoining courtroom not 100 feet away, Seminole County Judge John R. Sloop was waiting for the 11 defendants to appear before him. When they didn't show up, he signed warrants for their arrests.

By the time the 11 finally discovered that they had been misdirected by court personnel and asked to appear before the judge to explain what had happened, he would not see them and ordered their arrests.

"When the officers came out, they had handcuffs," said Irving Merced, who was in court on a ticket for driving without a license. "I thought, 'I'm getting arrested? Why?' "

Before everything was straightened out, the defendants spent eight hours Friday in a Seminole County Jail cell.

Many of the defendants were angry and some began to cry as they were taken into custody, Merced said.

"I'm hungry, I'm tired and I'm disgusted," said Frantarshia Coleman, after she was released from jail Friday night. "This is ridiculous. This is disgusting."

Coleman, 33, of Orlando was in court on a ticket for not having her registration and proof of insurance. She was quick to pull out a wrinkled, yellow traffic ticket indicating her court date in Courtroom 1B. She and the others were supposed to be in 1A.

Theresa DeClue, 28, of Heathrow and Aileen Nunez, 24, of Orlando also recalled their shock at being jailed.

"I really thought, 'This is a joke. This can't be happening,' " DeClue said.

Nunez said she would contact an attorney.

"I hope that judge gets fired," she said.

Nunez and the others would have stayed in jail longer -- likely overnight -- had Sloop not signed paperwork later in the day allowing them to be released without having to pay bail. It is unclear why Sloop reversed his decision. Attempts to reach Sloop were not successful.

About the time that Sloop was reversing himself, Circuit Judge James Perry, chief judge of the 18th Judicial Circuit, took similar action to make sure the 11 would be released Friday.

"When I was made aware of this, I tried to reach Judge Sloop," Perry said late Friday. "When I was unable to reach him, I took steps to make sure they were released on their own recognizance."

Perry would not discuss Sloop's handling of the case or whether he planned to speak about it to Sloop next week. When asked, Perry said he would not have handled the issue the same way as Sloop.

Sloop has developed a reputation as a hard-nosed judge and was the only one of 10 Seminole County judges to receive the lowest rating -- "poor" -- in the 2004 Central Florida Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers poll. Sloop's lowest rating in the poll -- 2.08 out of a possible 5 -- was for "demeanor."

Robert Perez can be reachedat rperez@orlandosentinel.comor 407-772-8046.



Copyright (c) 2004, Orlando Sentinel | Get home delivery - up to 50% off

Visit OrlandoSentinel.com

Dreams

I've determined that you should always try to remember your dreams. How else are you going to accomplish them?

I remember having a dream recently where I read most of a 300 page book in 5 minutes. A co-worker asked if I remembered what happened in the book. Damn, if I could remember what happened in the book I could write it and make some money, because it was good.

Like Mitch says, "I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm gonna find out where they're going and meet up with them later."

Yahoo! News - Teacher Faces Fine for Using Doorstop

Yahoo! News - Teacher Faces Fine for Using Doorstop: "State Fire Marshal Sterling Lewis Jr. said the corridor wall that contains the door is a smoke partition and the door must be able to close if there is a fire to hinder the spread of smoke. He said not all doors in the building fall under that designation, so some can be propped open legally and some can't.

Sixth-grade teacher Susanna Robinson said her door was not labeled a smoke partition. She said the windows in her classroom do not open, teachers have been told not to adjust the thermostat and the room is too hot when it is filled with students."

More infuriation. I'm hoping the judge ends up being humanitarian enough to drop the citation.

Guinness World Records

Guinness World Records
Fastest Pint Of Stout
Multiple record-holder Peter Dowdeswell drank a pint of Guinness stout in just 2.1 seconds at the Millwall Football Club, London, UK, on April 24, 2001.

Brian and I agree that his is one record we wouldn't mind trying to break.

Yahoo! News - 11 Directed to Wrong Courtroom Arrested

Yahoo! News - 11 Directed to Wrong Courtroom Arrested: "By the time the 11 finally discovered that they had been misdirected by court personnel and asked to appear before the judge to explain what had happened, he would not see them and ordered their arrests."

This simply infuriates me.

Yahoo! News - Notable Quotes

Yahoo! News - Notable Quotes: "'I'm Colin Luther Powell

Public service is my thing

Don't do it for the ring, don't do it for the bling.'

--Secretary of State COLIN POWELL, making his debut as a rapper at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington."

Hunka Hunka Burning...

As I was tooling along towards NYC on Saturday I saw a plume of black smoke coming from over a hill up ahead.

When I got close enough to actually see fire I thought it was the grass on the side of the road burning because some jackass had done something stupid.

But when I got closer I realized it was some sort of heap that was burning not just the grass. But why wouldn't the fireman just put out the burning hay bales?

I finally realize that I'm seeing a vehicle burning. As you can see the entire thing was engulfed in flames. I was able to determine that it was a Ford pickup truck because the tailgate was still visible. I guess this doesn't do much to disprove the Found On Road Dead acronym.

I certainly hope no one was in the truck. I wasn't able to find any news articles about it. Seeing this makes me feel even more fortunate that my "proof that two forms of matter can't occupy the same the same space at the same time" as Joey put it, wasn't more serious.

This was just on the way to NYC. There's more to come. No more fire, but certainly some heat to talk about.

New York City

I just wanted to do a quick post to say that I'm in NYC. So far I have a little story to tell that involves fire. I'll post more when I get home.

phil ringnalda dot com: Right-click Add Live Bookmark

phil ringnalda dot com: Right-click Add Live Bookmark

For anyone that likes the Live Bookmarks feature in Firefox, but wishes there was something like a Live Bookmark This Link... this extension is for you. It gives you an Add Live Bookmark option in your context menu to use on those sites that simply give you a link to the URL for their RSS feed instead of having the information built into the HTML.

pics of the damage

I'm sitting here on the phone in a training class, so I figured I'd post a couple of pictures of the damage to my car from the other day.

scary lunch meat

I hate scare lunch meat. It always waits until you have the mustard and cheese on the bread before it yells, "Uggada Uggada UGG" making you toss it in the trash in disgust. Of course the scary lunch meat is always the last lunch meat in the fridge which leaves you with nothing to put on your sandwich.

Hydroplaning Horror

I had a really rough time getting myself moving this morning. I did finally get myself started on my 40 minute drive to work in the pouring rain. I was cruising along in the fast lane not even half way there when my car starts turning sideways.

I'm hydroplaning and my tires have decide to treat the water that's under them like it's ice. I quickly turned the wheel to keep my front wheels pointing in the same direction as the highway and the car cooperated by starting to straighten out.

My instant of relief was very brief as I realized that the car was now turning past straight to go the opposite direction. I was able to get the wheel turned the other direction and also became aware of a car in a lane that I was now creeping towards.

I don't know how long my fight for control lasted, but I turned the wheel back and forth 5 or 6 times. The fight ended when the car turned past the point of no return and I realized that I was about to be looking at people's oncoming headlights.

Just about the same time I was completely facing the opposite direction I also came into contact with the guard rail and suddenly realized I had this thing called a brake. I came to a complete stop in the high speed lane, facing traffic, with part of my passenger side becoming intimately acquainted with the guard rail.

Of course the next thing I did was jump out of the car to assess the damage. There was one concerned gentleman that pulled his truck over in the breakdown lane to make sure everything was alright. I assured him that I was fine, saw that the tire closest to the guard rail seemed whole and jumped back in to get out of the rain.

At this point I realized it would be a damn good idea to put my emergency flashers on. Of course if someone sees headlights pointing at them in the high speed lane it's a pretty safe bet they're going to realize there is something drastically wrong.

I waited for a break in the cars going by, pulled a Uie, waved at my concerned friend to say thanks and proceeded to work.

If my concerned friend does read this let me tell you that I am extremely grateful to you for stopping and checking on me. If I knew who you were I would buy you a beer.